The most complex ones where the fractal ones. I wanted to be like them because they seemed to morph and expand easily and harmoniously, happily romping about. I was just a simple opalecent bubble, not quite crystalline. I was also very attracted to the element of light and its multiple infinite reflexions and luminescence.

In our world there existed many spectrums of light. For example, the fractal beings sparkled in infinite shades of gold, while I could only play with 7. However on occasions I accessed their spectrum and wore them like jewels for a glimpse of time. These would make me very happy for it made me aware of the potentials of transformation. Eventually I could transform not just my bubbly reflecting appearance but my shape as well. To do so it seemed I had to morph my intra-fluxing energy patterns first.

The dream to fractalise was not an unreachable dream. I could touch it. I could be. I liked to spiral outwards gliding with resonating currents. It was something I could continue doing was I to become fully fractal. It felt a natural progression.

So thus I floated about in space. At times I would follow and orbit. We all did, but it was not like entities would orbit in circles. Some would expand and flinch in, extend and recoil, stretch and rebound. Our orbits would criss cross, zig zag, spin, loop, whirl and twirl in a cosmic dance. Each entity had their own rhythm.

On occasions orbits would circumnavigate smoothly undisturbed by the active environment. These where some rather stable ones, like planets. Though even planets off-tracked into new paths and other grabitational pulls. Is just that as they often carried with them firmly attached entities, they noticed less their own fluctuation.

Thus, the various entities would influence one another, with space there for remoteness as well. It was easy to get away, mostly, but not always. Sometimes it was a bit of a struggle to step away from another’s path because forces played in the fields we inhabited. Yes, these forces played with us sometimes in rather force-full manner, but they also ignited our potential, invigorating in their magnetic gravities.

Life was a big game, ever playing with attraction and repulsion, against and forth. The tricky bits were the inbetweeneis, where one would twitch, shake, reel and jerk back and forth. Yes, those were spasmodic times, the space between.

These forces would affect what some called feelings which in turn would create emotions. Emotions were coarse and had attachments. Feeling where of purer energy, way more subtle, they just were, more part of the forces themselves than ones own, though they felt so. It wasn’t just your own feelings and emotions you had to deal with, for they were infectious so to speak and would rub off from one another.

These forces would mingle about, among us. They existed without us but they where able to express themselves through us, because of their own they were just perfect, and in their perfection little happened. Through their engagement with us however they could manifest in infinite behaviours, showing off teasing, mocking, endearing, scoffing, disarming, charming, bewitching energies and so on.

Indeed there were many energies at play interfering patterns. Those you carried and produced, the intrusive ones, electricities of many types. They all produced waves which themselves would bounce about ondulating the atmosphere we inhabited further. There was a constant stringing of cause and effect, thick chains, fine filaments. Some thought they sometimes broke, but they never did so, because there was no beginning and no end. However time made some falsely believe and end did exist, those who were weak on patience, always rushing about, busy with tasks they thought of importance. Time was tricky too, because there was no set time. Everyone, entities, forces and agents of sorts, had their own, which was in itself variable.

The strange thing was you could recognise entities by their silhouette, but to recognise forces you had to play their game, and capricious as forces were, the process was at times unpredictable and daunting and you would back off. Sometimes with good reason, but at times under self convictions that something might be a determined way. This last attitude brought about just that, the one pre-determined way, shutting all doors that might lead elsewhere. Truth was, everything was possible, even the most far-fetched possibility one knew nothing about.

So I thought best possibly was to go with the flow trusting the force to show one hopefully a spectacular path, dramatic at times, breath-taking, mighty paths but brilliantly scintillating with life. It was fun.

Yes, sometimes overwhelmingly fun, saturating the senses to the point of extreme excitability. Some of us played in complex fields with no boundaries, where we were blasted with overly abundant surprise bursts. Yes, some of us played at that level of intensity, giving it our all, and thus risking burn-out. These experiences in turn made us crave else, such as calm.

In the wavy interconnecting matrixes we inhabited, nothing was ever too straight forward, so within the realm of calm, infinite sorts of calm co-existed. I pinned for fractal-calm so to speak. A long transitional process of self-re-creation lay ahead of me. I was not in a hurry, for beside my eagerness was also a laid-back disposition. Also, some sticky elements of habit and identity binded me to the spectrum I inhabited.

You see how the games gave us reasons for being?

Nevertheless, some chose not to play much. Poor them, they would freeze in a quiet despair where not calmness but boredom ruled. They would quietly dream and yearned for a life they had not, out of self choice! Yes, some chose to weep but not full tears, and to laugh, but not in full laughter. They were kind of half alive, blindly yearning, remaining lost in lust and desire for else which they themselves chose not to explore. In fact so reluctant were some to explore the forces’ games, that they would even deny the existence of a force, as if that might help their numb state!

In other words, you had to play the force’s games to experience the various forces. Otherwise you would inhabit a lifeless path with scentless flowers, mute birds and heavy clouds that shed no tears and which drizzled, if any, but doom and gloom.

In these games, it wasn’t like you would play with a single force either. Forces were rather intrusive and whimsical. They would gather entities, amalgamating two or more simultaneously, and would permeate their senses in a way in which the entities were forced to unite to resolve, detangle or harmonize. Yes, the forces brought about quite some strains.

However, as said, it was vibrant to experience being fully alive, even if it entailed going through awkward patterns with one another for a while. So, like it or not we would modulate one another.

There was a sense of coherence within the chaos and somehow mostly we got along, some drifted some resolute some halfway there. Somehow seldom clashed, but it happened. It happened to me. I collided in bombastic manner against dry ice, which yielded the shield Twin-EE held, or perhaps it was Twin-EE itself who had dropped yet another freeze-bomb, jepardising the game.

Either way, I quaked to the core and reverbarated field after field with a heart-break-beat groove which caused asteroids to freeze and alter their gamma spectrums to smoke. You see, Twin-EE’s shield-coat half-protected it, being as Twin-EE was of half-way background, its other half was anchored. I on the other hand was vulnerable and I was left hovering intra-dimensions randomly. Heart-rending indeed it all was.

I had experienced more swings playing with Twin-EE that I could endure, yet I was afraid to stand up because Twin-EE was big.

Yes, I had been in a playing field with this big planet of name Twin-EE for some time. Time expanding 10 millennia according to Twin-EE’s measurement of time, 17 millennia according to mine, for I had felt its gravity long before Twin-EE was aware.

I had found a stream that led me towards Twin-EE’s orbit, and I eagerly followed it. But Twin-EE was elusive in those days. I could feel a presence, but took a long while before Twin-EE’s presence actually manifested.

To be continued.

Crissalida

Copyright © 2010 C Correa All rights reserved. Any unauthorised public performance, copying or adaptation will constitute an infringement of copyright and may be prosecuted.